Warding Off Creeps In My Youth

I do not envy many aspects of my youth, for example, being broke, not having a driver's license or a car. Another thing I don't miss is unwanted advances from strange men. If you're polite and decline, you're an uppity bitch. If you're rude, you're a nasty uppity bitch. Can't win either way.

This was my comment on a Facebook post, about how someone's intent to hit on someone wasn't intended to be creepy. As someone who remembers what that uncomfortable attention felt like this was my reply:

"He might not have expressed wanting to sleep with her but it can still be perceived as creepy just the same. Even if he had said that shit off camera. Creepy is creepy.

"I can see how it can be challenging to flirt/hit on someone without seeming creepy even if the intent isn't there.

It shouldn't be based on attractiveness, it should be based on how it is done.

"In my younger days if someone was at least respectful I'd politely decline. It was rare though. Most times I'd be waiting for a bus and look like shit, or in a foul mood from another unrelated incident and most times in those situations I'd either ignore or flip them off. Unless I felt like I was trapped or there wasn't anyone around. I'd be more polite but firm.

"One time I was being a smartass and the guy kept following myself and my friends/sisters so we ran to the mall bathroom and hid.

"Looking back, waiting for buses late at night alone wasn't smart even back then.

"And after that incident I chose the ignore route and kept my headphones on my head but low so I could be aware of my surroundings.

"After having some crazy encounters when I was young, I grew more and more irate when approached or hit on by men, especially when I was alone.

Sometimes women will just view men as a threat, especially if we feel cornered or in a vulnerable situation. The man may not have any bad/creep intentions, but the woman has no way of knowing that off the bat.

And sometimes we just wanna listen to our Discman and do crosswords while on the bus in peace without entertaining anyone. Lol that was always my issue. I was content with being single, just trying to get home or to school or whatever and people just want to be up in my shit and talk. I felt like do I wear a sign? "

I really love that I'm old and happily married and drive a car, and that no one bothers me.