Dinosaur Post

"I'm Sad"

"I'm sorry and I'm here for you."

"Aren't you going to tell me to cheer up?"

"No, I still like you when you're sad."

This Dinosaur page post (@dinosandcomics) I saw on Facebook made me think of my grandfather's saying "Cheer up. Things could be worse." It always seemed like he'd say this at the wrong times. I remember mentioning this on the mental health episode of my podcast, and my friend said that my grandfather probably didn't intend on diminishing my feelings at the time. I agree with this. I don't think it was said with malice or to diminish my emotions. I think that way of thinking for him personally may have been a coping mechanism that assisted him in getting through the tough times he had experienced in his life. He lost his parents and his sister when he was really young, then he and his brother lived with their aunt until she died when he was 8. They were both in foster care after that. My grandfather joined the Navy during World War II and was a D-Day vet. One of the ships he was on during his tour of duty was torpedoed, and he and one other guy survived. Having to have thick skin most of his life, this saying of "Cheer up. Things could be worse" was his way of dealing with life, his way of not crying. Crying and tears made my grandfather uncomfortable I think.

I do believe that we need to feel our feelings and process our emotions. Stifling them can only cause one to implode later. While I do not believe for one second that my grandfather was being toxic with his positivity whatsoever, toxic positivity is real and really fucking annoying. Just be supportive and let people feel.